oh i forgot..i still have to do that stupid radio dj thing..so i guess we will be betting again!

so, dahling..
are we game?

J? oh you are beautiful

And J darling..
Fine! I take all your stupid copywritings, essays and layouts jobs..just dump it infront of my front door..like I have a life anyway...
but dahling...
that dancing lesson for that play that i wrote about..you are so lagenda siti zubaidah! You are so Siti Zubaidah even if I have to put you on a stilt!

thank you dahling..you are beautiful!

J! Now you are so on!

And J dear..your final dare
you can finally find me in pandan indah, kuala lumpur..just follow the guiding light!
Done.
Close case!

to those whose mind got messed up from reading this horrid dare project, my sincerest apology. And to those who happened to have mastered the art of english grammer..my most bla bla bla apology and to J, thanks! you are like the most annoying friend i have ever known.. and since i am done humiliating myself here..i guess its time to take you out for a tutu! Pink sounds so...delicious right about now..imagine..J in pink tutu! Voila!

Dear J? I think I've finally done my homework..

So here I am, trying to figure out what to do with my life. I think I’ve done all that I could..okay, perhaps..I missed a few punch lines..and as I sat here wondering it occured to me. Too many dreams unfulfilled. Fine, I am not touching sky diving and speed racing..hey, I am entitled to it..you know..but I think I’ve done most of what I want..I’ve done the hospital bit...the PR bit..the psychology bit..the teaching bit..Fine, I need to complete my law school and maybe go back to art school and yeah, start talking pictures again..maybe I should go back into advertising...events was like so exhausting these days. And yeah..I think I want to cut an album. Yeah...so any record company dying to sign an aging star..I am so available right now..
hehehe
J, do take note. I took your dare!
Thank you.

till i met non..so J..what do you think?

I on the other hand, was having an extremely animated conversation with Peter.
“Oh fuck you! If not for the fact that you’ve been playing with your food all night long...slowly twirling your mee the way you did..I would have slapped your face there and then!” Non screamed violently over our three way that night. “And you! I thought you were my friend! How could you steal him for yourself like that! I was trying to get him to open up and there you were..chatting like..”
“Me twirling my fried mee? What about you with that I am eating a savaloy impression? Like no one noticed how sluty you were!”
“Oh you think so?” Non retorted sharply. “You want sluty? I show you sluty! Can you imagine where I am? Ehm...yeah..I was...and now that I am thinking about it..do you remember the thin, silk langerie..the one that we bought together..the pale pink one...with a slight slit in the middle...”
Imagine a ballet dancer doing a split..oh yeah..she does know when to show her assets and yeah...I can imagine how sluty the whole scenario would turned out to be.
Question: Shall I tape this conversations? Ehm...never know when I might need to blackmail them...hehehe
Answer: How evil am I right now?
“Fine! I wasn’t that into him anyway!” Cat finally admitted after about ten minutes of hearing Non’s narrative, which I have to admit..was kind of a turned on. Never figured that she had that in her! She could do well doing her own, call me if you are lonely company. Seriously, after all these years...I was so sure I know the real Non. I mean, she had always been so regal..so sure of herself.
Question..Who is playing who now? Then again, I think I still have an ace up my sleeve. So, we’ll see..
Answer: Shall I drag him in?
Morning came. Oh, the usual. Pretty blue sky all around. I woke up to the sound of the alarm..can’t remember when I did that. Always woke up without one. And I miss my morning prayer. Go figures!
Note to self: No lengthy three way over two am. Period!
A flick of a switch and Non sweet, gentle self exploded from the answering machine.
“Just so you know..I had the best night ever...and yes, did I win? On both account?”
Ehm..delete that. Don’t like the sound of it. Win of both account? Is she playing me for a fool? Or did I get caught in my own trap?
Question: How do I salvage my self image after this?
Answer: La la la la
Another flicker and Cat tripped in.
“Fuck you! That’s all I have to say about last night and yeah! She is a slut! Oh..I am so vindicated..I am so vindicated!”
Question: What actually happened last night?
Answer: Call Peter. Play it through..see how long they last.
Action: Oh yeah..I do look good. Oh yeah..
Fifteen degrees turned and I stood facing the mirror and spend a moment assessing my assets. Stripped to my bare essential..not that I’m wearing much..I am quite a catch all right. Six two, two fifty, sixteen biceps..and I do have a bubble butt, if I say so myself. No wonder my patients keep coming back..Ehm..good business strategy..come to think of it.. Not bad for a shrink...I think. Now, did I truly flip Peter’s switch or I was just imagining it?
Answer: Give it another trial run. See if he’s game. Then I’ll break the news. Who knows..I might just land myself another patient.
Questions: How bad am I now?
Answer: Uuuu..baracuda!
I was just about to step out of the shower when the doorbell rings. Dripping wet, I stood face to face with Bla bla bla, a fifty something woman plague with a messy divorce. My first patient. Ehm..how long was I blurred?
“Oh..I didn’t realize..,” she stammered elegantly, eyes jumping from my somewhat flushed face to my chest to the towel around my waist to..
“Oh God! I forgot all about you,” I replied, feigning innocent. My trademark, how else could I get them to

there were times
that i wish i am in control
of my faculties
there were times
that i wish that i know what i am doing
there were times
that i wish i would stop dreaming
tell me darling..
would you hate me...
if i start doing?
now if i only know where to start...
and that my calculations were accurate...
i truly belive
that i could fly again..

have you ever wondered
what it feels like
to be a bee
buzzing around
without getting lost?
tell me..
have you ever distilled it?

so darling..
are we game again?

a beautiful flower
ancient..almost extinct
and if you were to look at it closely
despite appearance
all that you can dream..
trust me darling..
there is no more kusta!
then again..
i am only a man..
dreaming..

and the low rumbling is calling
tell me..is your blood dying?
i heard a story
a distilled memory
can cure everything

so darling..
are you game again?

an ancient remedy
to kill a disease
that send a man crawlling
on his knees..
a globe of silence
that draped the ocean
and drown the children
tell me..
are you the mammoth hunters?

to the stranger in my mind...

for a moment
i felt completely alone
as the woman in black
continued on her journey
only the sounds of her footsteps
and that of her cane
vibrating in my mind
perhaps...somewhere along the line
our lives were intertwined...
and as i look at myself once again..
i could almost hear her
calling my name
just once!

so there i was
looking at myself and wondering
do you remember the old songs...little one...
sweet and low...sweet and low...
and the strange woman in black...
tell me...are you lonely?
and i look into her eyes...
tell me...
am i insane?
for remembering a dream?

a moment...a heartfelt moment...

as the day lengthen
and my breath quicken
a moment of pure sensation
a beautiful flower
about to open
welcome...little one
for the world beckons...

to the one who touch my heart

to my darling little anja
mother of my heart
sister of my soul
may the guiding light
guide your otherwise darkened soul
may it gives you the strength
to endure the coming winter
and the tide that looms ever closer

love
ad

thank you...you are an angle..

sea of faces
staring at me
and here i am
searching for you..
so darling..
will you be mine?

..think of me sometimes..

to my little queen..

darling..
love your words..
oh..do not hit me with that stick..
i am already partially injured!

J...remember?

diamonds
a parting gift..
a guiding light...
hard..irresistable diamond..
now around my neck..

to derek..thanks for the card..it was beautiful..sigh..maybe someday i drop by..hopefully...

I dream of holland..and a sea of tulips..
smiling among the clogs..
so tell me..
are you alone..
i am..in mine..

to old friends..remember those days..when we actually write letters? I need one..ehm..

my life..
like a trail of water
passing through the sand of time
leaving no impressions..no marks..
so who is to know..
that i exists today?

a hallmark moments..

darling...remember those long walk we used to take? Do you fancy a break and sit down for a while?

till i met non..and introduction

“I am Ad. I am a compulsive liar.”
“Welcome Ad”
“Thanks.”
“So Ad, tell us about yourself..”
“I was born..”
“Are you trying to bore us silly or what?”
“Oh shut the fuck up. Let him speak, why don’t ya! Jerk!”
“Fuck you!”
“Fuck you first!”
“Shit!”
“Nice..very nice..and thanks..”
“Fuck you!”
“Right back at you and yes, I was six when I realize that I like to lie..and I mean it in the most innocent manner...”
“Excuse me. May I show you how to lie properly? Innocently of course!” Non cried sarcastically, amidst a thunderous applaus from the crowd, especially an ex whale named Cat, a twenty something..oh fine..close to thirty something creative director from one of the most prestegious ad. agency in town.
“So, how’s my intro?”
“Fuck you! Could you at least..mention me to be about seventeen?” Cat snapped sarcastically, rolling her eyes just the same. A feat viciously appreciated by Kiki, who baft almost instantly.
“No shit!” she addded in her own, delectabley annoying tone and laughed, her usual shrill laugh. A feat, easily match by Cat who started shaking her booty with delight. “And Cat dahling! If you’re seventeen, then I’m clearly the newly crowned Miss Universe!”
“If that pimply blond bitch dare claimed to be the newly crowned Miss Universe then I’m practically a virgin!” J interjected, looking positively radiant. For a virgin at least.
“Which automatically turned me into an enchanted princess,” Non confesses elegantly, slyly flicking her hair, an amusement glint marring her once perfectly painted eyes.
“Fuck you!” came the quick, final retort from Cat as she continued shaking her now slim booty clad in a beautifully cut, dark blue jeans.
And no, I am not even going to mention the lable, honest!
Three years and two months later, and here we are, five positively deranged adult, sitting together in Kiki’s newly refurbished apartment, celebrating Cat’s impromptu birthday.
“Just so that you know..being a member of this club and all...today is not exactly my birthday..but thanks..I love the gift..especially J worn out shoes and Kiki’s left over chocolate moist...like, how long have you been keeping it moist! Choy!” Cat cried with a slight sigh. “Oh God! What have I done to deserve this!”
Which, brings us to the end of this horrible party. And no, we are still single..still available and yeah..still looking...talk about sad!

sigh..oh yes..I am feeling blue...so here it is..
To Mr. Lai from gombak satu..thank you..you make english beautiful..Mrs. Kang..you scared me so much that I have to force myself to study...Puan Shakinah..you teach me how to dream..
Miss Chia..oh..dy/dx is a killer..and chemistry..God..I wish I am good with names..but I am not...Mrs..oh God..forgive me for not remembering your name..but I do remember something about magnesium burning merrily..thank you...
Mr. Brock of Niagara Falls Collegiate Vocational Institute..thank you for opening my eyes to the world and
Low Eng Hong..thank you..for being a friend..

I wish you all well..

and mrs eng..wherever you are..thank you..

hello again..how are you..old friend..

9 pm and I was feeling restless. Nothing seems right. Finally, I pack my knapsack, took my key and walked out. And suddenly, everything falls back into place. It was like the last day of school. I was 17 again. SPM’s over and as I walked out of the gate of St John’s, I wonder, will I ever be welcome again. A lot of things changed since then. To my surprised I ended up in Niagara Falls Collegiate. I have to admit, it was lonely being alone..still, it was...exciting. And the fall..was just beautiful..oh..you know how it is..
God knows what happened, but when I finally come to my sense, I found myself standing in front of my old school, and after all these years..it hits me...
Cheer..cheer and courage display..
All ye Johannians join in the lay...
Old friends..wherever you are..God bless
Nite...
To Bro. Lawrence...thank you..To Dream the impossible dream..yeah..I tried it..and yeah..I hope I did right..

a note to the golden eagle club..oh you know who you are..just incase you feel like sharing a cup of tea..sms me at 0124097817.

till I met Non...oh something to dream about i guess

“So, how cute was Peter today?” I asked once the whole world settled down just a bit.
“Oh my..he wear the cutest pants today. It was as if..geez..am I allowed to talk like this to you?”
“Like it has ever stop you before. So..spill it out!”
“Well, it started like this. I was pretending to be busy, knowing that the horrid monster was making her round when I notice something fishy just out of my driving range..I mean, if you are used to golf that is..”
“Fuck you!”
“See..I told you..don’t count me out just yet!”
“And then?”
“The usual. She went around bossing everyone. God! If I don’t love her husband I would have quit there and then. Then again, she knew who I am..so that’s just about it lah..”
“Fuck you!”
“Oh..you are referring to Peter? Why don’t you say so in the first place!”
“Why don’t you stop annoying me so I can sip my tea in peace?”
“And missed the opportunity to show my expertise to these adoring crowds?” Non asked and threw a wicked glance at a table just next to us. “My fan club,” she whispered seductively and blink at an extremely well propotion eurasian man in black. “I have a feeling that he’s in love..”
“That was the cheapest statement I’ve ever heard in my life...and I know slogan!” Cat said defensively and true to form, flutter her eyelashes at the same guy, with an equally dazzling effect. Oh yeah..and he left not long after that. WOnder if we will ever see him again..maybe not in black, I guess. Perhaps, something silky, to encentuate his chest? Seeing how he have been flirting with Non all these while. Wonder how he feels now that Cat had decided to muscle in.
“Anyway, back to Peter. I think he’s at least..ehm..I think I’m just about to get my period!”
“THat’s more like it. I don’t get it. Seriously! So, he’s hot..so what? If you like him so much..then just fo r it!”
“You know what I like about him? He has beautiful eyes. And the rest of him..was just about perfect..I can imagine how well we moulded together..know what I mean?”
“If you are any racier, I think I’ll barf right about now! You’re the shrink! Talk some sense into her! She can’t let this guy rule her life. It’s like..the only thing that comes out of her mouth everytime she start flirting with someone!”
“Are you nuts!?”
“You’re the one with the insight. So, tell me..how does Peter taste like..to you? Bland?”
“I would imagine he tastes like..I don’t know..a mocha with a side of vanilla?” Non enthused delicately, eyes dreamy. “Can you imagine..how that feels like? Ehm...”
“Just so that I won’t be accuse of being a prune..which side of him are we talking about now?”
“The vanila or mocha?” Non asked, looking somewhat confused at the sudden heat generated from our somewhat orgasmic conversation.
“Fuck you! He was talking about how bland Peter is! Oh Fuck..I was the one asking..hehehe..so..what do you think?”
“May I add in a suggestion..now that we are finally discussing about it..maybe..a picture of Peter in a speedo?”
“Thong or lacy?” Non asked, unconsiously.
“Why don’t we strip him naked and get it over and done with?” Cat snapped. “I am way beyond boyfriend right now..so quit it! Okay!”
“Wha-?”
“Thong could be nice..if you are into flesh...man flesh that is..”
“Fuck you and this time, I actually mean it!”
“Touche!”
“Oh yeah..I like that..” Non added, looking even more lost then usual. Wonder how her work place is like..with Peter hanging around all day long..Peter in jeans..in sleeveless T..in three piece suit...
That just about did it. Cat stood up, claiming something silly like the need to feed her cat and Non, oh well..I think I’ll leave quietly and let her settle the tab. It’s her turn anyway.

till i met non..so what do you think?

“SOmeone is so annoying,” Non said the moment we met for dinner that day.
“What are you babbling about? We are in a middle of something erotic here!”” Cat snapped, looking furious as usual. “I mean, get real. There has never been a day that you don’t complain about someone!”
“Erotic my foot! You are just busy oggling your shoes!”
“So I like shoes, so what? At least I don’t start my day complaining about someone...unlike you..”
“Like you are an angel in that department! Bah!” Non retorted sharply.
Oh well, here we go again. We barely sat for five minutes and they are already tearing at each other’s throat, I thought, sighing. Then again, with the two of them one can never be sure what to expect.
Its like watching mini volcano, twenty four seven. Well, maybe not a mini volcano..more like..a pimply eruption that occurs once a while when you had too much chocolate or something equally witty. Still, I could only speculate...
“So, why was someone so annoying?” I asked lazily, a sure fire way to get Non to start revealing her intimate secrets, (as if!)
Give her half a chance and she will be more then happy to blab her whole life away. A note to Non, a self imposed mental note that I slipped into my mind once a while when they started acting like this. Leave Cat alone. She is just bad!
Oh well, like I would be bothered to tell her that. After all these years, I finally figure it out.
Its best to let them fight it out then jumped in..only to be knocked over on the floor, with the both them gloating about it for days.
Guess life is becoming a bit predictable, a bad sign, if I say so myself. Maybe Cat’s right. We need something erotic to keep our minds off the beaten path. Now, what could be more erotic then to follow Cat’s somewhat annoying thoughts. Shoes? Oggling her shoes?
And that, there it was. A vision in red with pointy red tips..walking into a bar and I am not even going to describe what is in it. Could it be any less loud? Which brings me to bla bla bla.
“Are you alone?” she asked, her soft, sensuous voice floating in and out of my ear amids the thunderous noise emiting from the cheap tv set mounted on the wall across the two of us.
“Do you mind a threesome,” came the quick, sharp reply from somewhere behind us. A sign that bla bla bla was back from doing his business in the somewhat congested loo just across the room.
Honestly, based on the number of people going in and out of it, I wonder if there’s a cheap sale in Bloomingdale. Mental note to self..check it out before you leave. No point stopping by the road side..you never know who’s watching. And yeah, I do feel kinda bloated right about now and it has nothing to do with her carefully manucured fingers clutching the wine glass.
“So, what are you offering?”
There was a tense second, I think as she appraised bla bla bla, her beautiful doe eyes slanting and then, with a sad sigh, she shrugged her shoulders and said, “If you are willing to pay..I’m willing to play..”
My cue to hit the bathroom and yeah..it was packed. Reminded me of superbowl sunday, minus the crowd, if you catch my drift.
Contented, I left..ten minutes later, give and take I think and found bla bla bla in the hand of that gorgoeus creature, slinking it out to the voice of Midnight Cowboy crooning Widuri. Oh well..enough peotic for now.
He spotted me the moment I reached the bar and walked hand in hand with her. “Do you mind if I ditch you a while?”
“Estimate time?”
“Give and take and hour or so?”
“You are welcome to watch if you like..,” she added lazily. “He put in the calculation..if you know what I mean..”
That and an image of my dad appeared in my head. Still..I do feel rather bad..know what I mean? So we ended walking together to a cheap, dimly lit motel a few meters away. And yeah, just as I thought that the coast is clear, I saw my mother strutting in and that just about kill it. Imagine doing it with your family watching? Uhhh..baracuda!

wanna read the rest..hey..you just have to wait until i published it..as for my enchanted realm series..check it out at www.trafford.com and mrs. d..yeah..i did it. hehe